Likes: Crunchy Nut Cornflakes, Animal p*rn & being allowed out
Dislikes: Nuggits Chinese Club, Billericay Scotia FC & people from Skiathos
Favourite saying: Im sorry Sally
1) James....or should I call you Jups....or do you prefer just 'Doc'.....you once missed a Curry Club meeting to attend the birth of your first child. Obviously your priorities lie with your family and that is to be commended. However, most 100% members would have ensured the CC meeting rearranged and you didn't follow this process much to the disgust of your fellow member. There was outrage amongst some of the members of the club which lead to an extraordinary meeting being called.
One member said (& I quote) ''James just doesn't care...he would rather be up to his wrists in baby pooh than up to his eyes in Jalfrezi.....I say we castrate him''
Another member said 'He might have the nickname the doctor but I think he is just plain sick' (Seabass didnt want to be named so I wont tell you he said this)
Another member (who wanted to remain anonymous) put his guitar down and said ''throw him out of the CC and replace him with Ricky Tikka Taylor...even that traitor would be more dedicated to the cause than him''
What is your response to all this criticism?
Can I start by saying although these comments seem a little harsh I do understand my fellow members frustrations and I understand the club does pride itself on our commitment to the food we love. Not rearranging a date will be one of the big regrets in my life (I won’t mention the other regrets – this is not the time nor the place). Anyway I now carry the shame of being a non 100% attendee of Curry Club – not something I’m proud of but something I’m prepared to live with because of my love of Indian Cuisine. I must also pre-warn the Curry Club members that my family has another addition on the way, due to make an appearance in November. Rest assured if his or her arrival does clash with a Curry club meet I will learn from my mistakes and ensure that we re-arrange a date. That or we have our first Curry Club take away evening outside the maternity unit at Basildon hospital. The décor is not the best and neither is some of the clientele but at least Chris 'thats a mint sauce stain...honest' Johnston will have another opportunity to wear his nurses uniform.
(I also would like to state although we are a close knit group at Curry club if the take away evening does occur there will be no need for assistance in the delivery room)
2) You once managed to eat an Indian starter platter in reverse (through your bum) for a bet with Paul Dinsdale. What was this like? What was your favourite bit and did he pay you the 10p bet money?
Well some people may imagine this would also be a regret of mine, however this is not the case. Admittedly it was a shame Paul never paid me the money but it is strange how you stumble upon these unknown pleasures. It’s not something I would recommend to a novice of Indian food but other members have also now indulged in their starter using this method. I know Seabass was finding the whole thing a very rewarding experience until the sheek kebab when things then turned a bit nasty. Fortunately we discovered that Dal 'Mother Ducker' Knappit was a qualified first aider and it was very impressive the way he stemmed the bleeding with only his bare hands.
3) In order to keep fit and spend a bit of time with the family you enrolled yourself, your wife and your one year old son into the East London Kabadi League, family division 3. Can you tell us how this has been going? How you feel about losing seven straight games in a row? AND how you feel about the fact that both your wife and son have scored more points than you throughout the first season?
Yes I am a great fan of the game that is Kabadi. It’s fast and physical much like the leader of the Chinese Clubs mum (so I am told). Admittedly I’m not too happy about our start to the season but we are making progress. We’ve adopted a free flowing style and I’m sure we play the game how it should be played. However, this league takes no prisoners and the smallest of mistakes are punished.
It does surprise me that the wife and son have scored more points than me but I’m sure this will change – I have enlisted the help of a colleague at work, Ajmal. For the last fortnight we have been sweating it out in our lunch break and I’ve found he has worked wonders not only on my fitness but also in my understanding of the game. He is a great tactician and actually looks a little like Arsene Wenger with a turban….anyway I’d just like to thank Ajmal for all the time he has put in.
(on a slight aside Ajmal has seen pictures of us at a Curry club meet and is very keen to meet Dan Sak – he’s been watching Britain’s got talent and is in love with Stavros Flately. I’ve tried telling him Dan Sak’s not him but he seems convinced)
4) We call you 'The Doctor' in Curry Club due to 'the thermometer in mouth' trick you and an anonymous friend performed at curry club one.
Kevin Lyons has now left Curry club under a storm of controversy (see file note: Kevin discovered making his own mint sauce in toilets) but you still have the main piece of equipment that is required to complete the trick.
If you had to pair up with one member of the Curry club to complete this party trick again who would it be and why?
This is a tough question as the club does have an array of talent – each member there on his own merits. If I had to choose it would have to be Chris 'thats a mint sauce stain...honest' Johnston – whilst playing his guitar in his nurses uniform. If I was to be greedy I’d have Dan Sac helping out with his version of Riverdance as background entertainment.
5) It's a well known fact that you are always being mistaken for your childhood hero Dale Winton and on your last visit to Colours in Basildon made men go weak at the knees by autographing certain body parts. My question to you is if you were given the opportunity to Take Dale out for a curry where would you take him and with your vast knowledge of indian cuisine what dishes would you recommend to him.
Yes this is true people do tell me I look like Dale Winton. I take this as a great compliment as most people would. The night you are referring to is one that will always be in my memory. I had not planned on even visiting Colours that weekend (sometimes you need a change after 3 weekends on the trot) Anyway Steve 'the mini sheik' Nicholls phoned me up telling me how him and Chris 'thats a mint sauce stain...honest' Johnston were heading down there and there was a celebrity look-alike competition on. Basically they’d both been out and bought new outfits and they were very keen for me to go along as they were sure I’d win. Well, I don’t like to let my friends down so I put on my best suit, doubled up on the fake tan I’d borrowed from CJ and headed down there. Quite fortunately there was a shopping trolley just outside the VIP entrance which only added further to my costume. Well what a night, needless to say I won and we celebrated long into the night…drinking our Woo Woo’s until the early hours.
In answer to the question it would be a privilege if I had the opportunity to meet Dale and regarding the venue its one of those decisions that you have to take your time on. Everything needs to be taken into account to enjoy the perfect curry. Obviously there is the quality of food to be considered but then there is the location, the ambience of the restaurant, the service etc etc. For all these reasons I’d go for the Royal Tiger. Great food, good atmosphere and then there would be the opportunity to get down on the dance floor with Dale (something I know is a lifelong ambition of the chairman of Curry Club)
As for the dishes it does come down to personal taste. I’d have a long chat with Dale about his preferences – does it like it hot etc….etc
we would like to thank James "the Doctor Scott" for time he put in answering these questions as he is only allowed 2.5 hours free time per week to do his own things
